Brotherly Love

Yesterday was the Pride parade 2022 in Toronto. Rohan is back in the UK so he did not join us but to our delight Prem said he would attend with us this year. We intended to walk in the parade with PFLAG but due to the extreme heat we just explored the festival street vendors instead and enjoyed being spectators at the parade. We have attended the parade in the past to show our love and support for Rohan but we never forced Prem to go. We wanted it to be his decision to participate in any way that felt right to him in his support of his bhaiya (big brother). After returning from the parade I posed some questions to Prem about his experience with his brother "coming out" as gay. This is what he had to say:

When did you know bhaiya was gay?

· Growing up I always knew bhaiya was different than most of the other boys our age. I always had the feeling he was gay/bi but nothing was ever confirmed to me until I was 15ish when he came out to our family.

How did you find out?

· I remember the day he came out as an uncomfortable day. I could hear my parents and him yelling in the other room but was unsure what was going on. Dad called me into the room and said bhaiya had something to tell me. He was crying so much and very upset. It was clear he wasn’t comfortable with the idea of coming out, but he was brave and told me that he was gay. I made sure to tell him that it’s ok and that I loved him no matter what, then I gave him a hug.

How did it make you feel?

· I was not surprised at all and was more surprised with my dad’s reaction. I wasn’t sure why he was so upset as I thought that we were all sure bhaiya was gay even before he came out. I explained to my dad that in today’s world it is very normal for people our age to come out and it is widely accepted. I told him that I personally knew other people who were also in the lgbtq community. I never felt any different after bhaiya came out since to me, he was always the same person. Coming out changed nothing about who my brother is and I will always love him for being true to himself.

How do you feel when you hear friends/family/strangers make comments or jokes about lgbtq people?

· It’s hard hearing jokes being made about the lgbtq community, especially from family/friends since those are the kind of things which make people like my brother want to hide who they are from everyone. If people could understand that there are serious feelings that are affected by those kinds of jokes, I’m sure they would second guess themselves and not make those comments.

How do you feel about your relationship with bhaiya? Are you close? Do you feel you were close growing up?

· I don’t feel that me and my brother ever had the closest relationship, but nothing about him being gay ever had any effect on our relationship. We always did things together when we were young but never had the same interests so, as we grew older, we always had different things going on. He did dance, singing and acting and I did basketball, baseball and soccer. Today we talk often and always catch up about what’s going on in each other’s lives. I love seeing the relationship and friendship he has with my girlfriend and Nala (family dog) which makes me look forward to the amazing relationship he will have with my kids in the future as well.

How do you show support?

I show support for my brother by giving him hugs every time I see him and making sure that he knows that I love him. I support all his relationships and look forward to meeting his partners when he’s comfortable enough to bring them around the family. This year I also attended pride with my parents and enjoyed wearing the rainbow colours in support for the lgbtq community. I look forward to attending Pride every year going forward.